Finally figured it out!

It has been a while since I have blogged! I have finally figured out how to function through out the week and it feels so GREAT! Its all help from family and God though! I have been working out, cleaning, reading the bible and praying, studying/school, spending quality time with Ryland and Trevor and working (not in that order though). My break days are Sunday no matter what! I wish I had time to do a real blog but I don't so I am just updating on my life for now. :)

quack quack quack all the way home (haha)

So I have not blogged in a very long time. The last blog did not blow over well and so much has happened since then. I am so busy. I do so much and any part time employee/college student/wife/mom would understand! So recently Ryland has been walking tons! All over the place! He claps now! He recognizes the alphabet song and some counting :)! He also dances and claps along to 'if your happy and you know it.' Ryland says dada, baba, chad (uncle), truck, duck, quack and babbles a ton! Rybug growls too! He is getting way to big to fast :(.Today when I picked him up from my inlaws he just started saying duck and quacking until I parked at home! :) Trevor has been working a ton, which is nice for income but I always miss him! I have been working what ever shifts because I have realized that I have so much better going for me than dominos. My relationship with God is so amazing and my family relationships are getting stronger now I just need to be nice to people if I want friends.. haha! School is going GREAT and I am currently updating a ton of my stuff! So good bye for now!

venting! + life update

GAHHH: I forgot that I worked an open shift on father's day and anyone who needed the day off for their fathers asked for the day off... I asked to open all week so I opened on Sunday. I texted my mom on Monday and said you got any plans for fathers day and she says not yet. Then I ask if we could plan something like we did for her for mother's day for my dad for father's day. She says okay and I suggest like pancake house or something but mom suggests the airport so we plan a brunch at the airport at 1130 am. Dominos opens at 11 so all prep has to be done before then. Through out the week I don't even think about how opening and father's day brunch could go. I opened three times this week (which was fine I do not mind being busy or the extra hours and I love having the end of the day rather than the beginning). Opening three times plus 4-Rush shifts plus working out plus cleaning plus bein a mommy and student and wife and being excited for father's day I did not think about how OPENING and FATHER'S DAY BRUNCH would not work out. Then my Grandma calls me on Friday or Saturday (can't remember) and asked if any of us minded if she brought Grandpa because his son did not plan anything. She called after nine, after work, after working out and when Ry was going to bed and I was not paying attention to my phone, I was cleaning. So she left a message, I never called her back. But she was at my moms the next day and asked if it was okay if she came and I said of course! Still not thinking about OPENING and FATHERS DAY until that night I had to cancel. Then today I asked my mom how the brunch went and she says "Well after the person who's idea it was bailed waiting to hours for a table and gma getting grumpy and only eating a piece of pie then saying she felt nauseous and not eating any more just peachy" OKAY. IT WAS NOT MY IDEA TO TAKE HIM TO THE AIRPORT, partially because I knew about the wait, expense and how lame it sounded. I just agreed because I figured it was something he wanted to do which is good reason considering that it was FATHER'S DAY. I had also had a pretty crappy open shift because SOME PEOPLE need to be punched in the face.  I love my job and my family but sometimes it is just ...OMG.

LIFE: Trevor and I pin pointed my anxiety and stress probs. now we just have to try to work them out. Trevor and Ryland got covered under medical for walmart. I realized how soon I am graduating my first non grade school! Ryland is almost walking and talks about dogs! LOL! He also is getting more teeth! He is switched to just milk and down to 3 to 4 bottles a day. We are currently re-arranging and deep cleaning our home. Today we got storage filled up and way more space in our home. Anyway, I have not blogged in a long time haha (like a week) so I just thought I would update. 

been on cloud nine :)

I have been on cloud nine for the last few days! Been back to my workingout schedule! We all slept in yesterday and took a 3 hour nap today! I also have been eating healthy and working the perfect amount :) also trying to mend a friendship with someone. Our ryry has been talking :) I LOVE MY LITTLE CHATTER BOX! :)

My Rybug and the park :)

Since the weather has been really good lately Trevor and I had been taking Ryland to the park lately. Well, I have never brought him there on my own until today. We had a mommy baby day ♥ While we walked to the park he held my hands and walked a little bit! Then when we got there he climbed the stairs all by his self! Then he and I went down the slide together a few times and I chased him. Then some like six year old came to the playground, by himself :[ , Ryland was in 'awe' HAHA. He just stared at this kid then started following him around and doing everything he could do that the other kid was doing! If you have an infant you know they get distracted from time to time and he did... he eventually decided to see what a rock tasted like. : / Then he continued to follow the 'big boy' until he had to go home. Then he crawled down a grassy hill the whole way down and then we went home. When we went home (he walked all the way to our door including up the stairs) he heard a dog and got SOOO excited! He stops moving and frantically searches yelling 'dahh, dahh, dahh' (dog,dog,dog). It was so freaking amazing to walk with him to the park ♥ :)


In other news, OC sucks for now, and I am running out of time to get my personal training done. So now its time to just focus on that and my rybug and home! So I will be working out constantly.. no joke.. already started yesterday. Like I used too. I also will be cleaning, working, and playing with ryland ALL the time. I am so thankful for my supportive family, friends and wonderful husband! ♥

everything

Things finally seem back to normal. No relationship issues. No arguments. Work is good. School is good. Home is fairly clean. Timing seems alright. Today was great. We all got up this morning and ate together and played a bit then Ryland was ready for a nap. So we all took a nap and got up at 1230 and got ready to go out for the day. Ry and I walked to Safeway and Walmart when Trevor went to work. We had no food in the kitchen so I kinda needed to go while I was out I surprised my wonderful husband with lunch and got Ryland some apple juice, Then Ryland and I went home and shared a sandwich and played with toys and played outside. Then he started getting so fussy so I gave him a deal he could not refuse: bath, love, baba, story, and bed! It worked he was out in ten minutes! I think we would love me being a stay at home mom I just am not sure how that would work out.. just kinda expressing my feelings on that (point of this post). I need to do something with my life to be successful in my opinion. Keeping a clean house, faithful relationship and happy family is success to me. But staying at home all the time to do it all myself does not sound ideal. I have always wanted to be active whether it be cheer leading, dancing, military workouts, video workouts, going on walks, or any sport. In like junior high I decided that is what I am really interested in but I recently figured out that I want that to be my life. I just love to be active and since I have had Ryland I have been having serious withdraws. This is my last week at olympic college for like at least two quarters. That way I can focus on my lil family and my personal training certificate. I have been thinking about all of that today. The only thing is I cannot stop thinking about Adam. I spent all day being busy with my little man but at the end of the day all I can think about is the most recent lost friend. I really hope this passes. I am so thankful for all the people in my life though. It hurts so much to see people who were closer to him be in so much pain and to think about his family.. Also I miss my best friend, matt. who was touched by him. BLAH. I just miss all of that. When I think about it I feel numb. All of the recent stuff makes me want to talk to people and be close to people but I always have that fear of getting hurt or things being awkward or too much drama. I am socially awkward.. ha. No kidding though. It seems as though Adam's passing is forcing that to change. So yeah that is everything for right now...

may 27 2011 #2

In lighter news : Things have been getting pretty good since my last freak out. Rybug is getting so capable! My husband is so amazing and helpful! I have less than two weeks of college left then I get a break from that for a while while I focus on getting my personal training certificate. After I get my certificate, depending on where my little family is in life, I will go back to school I am not sure for what yet though. The the summer is going to be so busy though!

-both sides of my parents are going on a vacation so there is house sitting
-Ry's next doc apt,
-Ry's first brithday
-Ry's first dentist apt.
-My besties birthday (hope she will be home)
-working hard to get rid of the last of my baby weight
-celebrating our anniversary
-cousins birthdays
-friends sons birthday
-working
-studying for my cert.
-getting Trev into the military.

Its going to be busy but a nice break from oc and less stressful. I love my son and husband .. but yeah there was the most recent update. :)

may 27 2011

So much happened today. Last night was horrible Ryland was up all freakin night! Trevor let me sleep a little then we both got up with Ry again this morning then all slept till 1130 then I woke up to a text 'Adam Patton died'. I said what?, wow.

This is the first time Ryland has stayed up all night and I have lost some one so close. Everyone who has died in the last year just keeps getting closer and closer. My best friend called me this morning and it has been too long since I have talked to him. He made me crack, I have never cried because of someone dying and after hearing Matt talk about Adam just made me cry. It was a whole new kind of cry. All I have been able to think about is I am never going to see him in person again. Some day I will in spirit but not in person. It also makes me wonder who is next. I wont be able to see him in ten years and ask what he has been doing with himself. So many people I know and have known for the last five years were hurt by his leaving. I know we all know that he is in a much better place that is way bigger than any of us. We all also have awesome memories until we meet again.

I have decided to do my best to love unconditionally because of this year so far. I want to spend as much time with anyone or everyone because it is not worth getting mad or judgmental (which we all do, which is why we avoid each other) to have them be up and gone the next day.

I am so thankful for God teaching us lessons from something we think is so negative. He really is in a better place and he died honorably; no matter how we feel that is the truth. RIP Adam you will be missed.

Mental state

Last night I had one more panic attack. Ryland has been amazing, school is alright, work hasn't been too bad, and I have a great family support system. That is the outside looking in. But if you are female or spend enough time with any you know that we all over think everything! So this week as you saw in my previous blog there has been some problems with my husband's and my relationship. Well, see that slowly got worked out, then another sexual problem came up and we had not dealt with that..I was looking at it from a Christian standpoint and a 20 year old's stand point. The two do not mix. Also, I want school to be perfect! I want to be getting my 4.0 that I was getting before I had a child and worked more. Work.. comes with a whole new set of issues that I cannot even handle ever! That is just the begining in a nut shell.

Last night...

I got home to clean my house, had play time with my child, got him in bed and began doing math homework which was due at midnight. Waiting on some answers about the bible from a friend (i was very exited to find out) .Thinking about 'the end of the world' and my messy house. Today is my day off and I am going to be out all day. At like 1030 last night my boss texted me and asked if i can cover a verrry short open shift. I was SOO MAD! But I said yes because it seemed like he needed it. Then I finished my math homework in which I was very upset with. Then Trevor came home and I was just in a bad mood!

Did i forget to mention that for the last like five days I have gone to bed at like 3 because of one reason or another? yeah sooo running on E for sleep.

Anyway, very bad mood. So I began thinking about everything again.. Everything listed above and the fact that I have not spent much time with God this week and I did not even care. Even after the sex, school, baby, work crap. So by 130 I started freaking out about everything and I felt so weak, I could not left my hands.

I was crying and yelling at Trevor and feeling horrible. I just wanted to disappear.

LONG STORY SHORT :

I figured out my plate is too full. My bar is too high. I need to find a happy medium.
I finally calmed down enough to talk to Trevor and apologized for everything! I told him the sex stuff was not right and did not matter. I told him I just want to do well at O.C for this quarter so I can continue with Pennfoster and get my personal training certificate by October. (which I'm not ready for) Then I asked him if he would pray with me. I have never prayed like that before. I just cried and begged God for forgiveness and help in my issues that we are having. I kind of just talked to God about the wrong I have done and nothing else. I needed it but it was a weird experience. I feel so much better though. There is so much of the issue that I did not put on here. But God knows. I trust him to lead me down the right path.

In other news, today is going to be crazy. I have been asked to do so much this weekend and my truck is not useable. SOO it is going to be a little hectic! So I cover a shift then going out with a co worker to help get a surprise party ready, then partying, then going to my sister-in-law's play I hope. On top of hw, taking care of a friend, cleaning my house, and with a baby.

My friend Vita, her mom has breast cancer, and they got in this huge fight and now her mom is not talking to her. Since I am like a sister to Vita I called her mom and she did not answer. We both are really worried and hope that she is okay. So please pray for them.

There is more but I cannot think of it right now. This is just the most recent stuff. Its one of those weeks or maybe months that everyone who is married was telling me about. Its a blur and a weak moment. I just want it to be okay.

new relationship

I am on my period and hormones are going crazy. I love my husband very much, like no one would ever understand! On Saturday a couple we know told Trevor that they are swingers and have been for a while. The man in this relationship told Trevor that he brought home 4 females the other day. When I asked Trevor why a married man of his stature tell him this now... He says 'I don't know probably to brag.' I was very offended by that statement. Why is a married man 'bragging' to another married man about having many other different women in his bed? This made me very curious so I looked up info on swingers and why. Looking that up just bothered me. I am Christian and it is wrong to be doing this in God's eyes. So, therefore, it is wrong in my eyes. But this just made me non stop make me think about sex... like how I used to be in high school. It was pathetic. Then I met a guy, who is in the Army, he gave me his number and we began sexual things.. but not sex. I feel so fuckin dumb and horrible. I told Trevor, I felt like shit, but he just looked at me in the eyes and said it was okay. He forgave me just like that! He said he was not going to let something that small ruin us. I was also hating myself because I did not want God to send me to hell, because in the bible it is cheating. The next day we went through just fine, but I still hated what I did. Then that night we discussed what sexual desires each other had and we some how decided pretty much to be single for the next three weeks. Thinking about it made me sick, I was dry heaving, sweating, getting dizzy, and when I went and saw Trevor today at walmart I was just crying and told him that we cannot do that. It is not okay and I could not stand the thought of anyone getting in between us. He said that it was okay and we did not have to at all, he said he would not want to hurt us at all. In between all this I felt like all he was thinking of was about the 'bragging.' I hated the thought of him wanting to be able to do that and be married even though he said he did not. Trevor says he was not thinking about that and he would never do anything like that. I have been doing a lot of not okay sexual relationship things because of this fear. I have been a horrible, sluty, piece of crap. I want God to forgive me and I have asked.   Trevor forgave me in a blink of an eye, he said God will too, and he just loved me. I love that man with everything I have and I hope I can be as forgiving as him with anyone in my life. I am terribly sorry for what I did. I realize it was wrong and hurtful for many people. It probably does not make since to you, and you are probably going to judge us and say a lot of bad things. The only person who's opinion matters is Gods and this is my way of saying sorry. I feel stupid, immature, whorish, and like I do not deserve what I have. It is interesting to see what you may have to say or what you feel about God and marriage though. feel free..

How to Kill Someone With Kindness | eHow.com

How to Kill Someone With Kindness | eHow.com

Prayer

Prayer is an amazing thing. God does listen to our problems, he does forgive, he loves EVERYONE no matter what SIN unconditionally.

Since Ryland has been born I have felt hopeless. Work has been crappy, I have been very judge mental of others and I have forgotten some important things in my life. These issues led to many panic and asthma attacks so bad to the point where I cannot see straight there for walking around was not a smart option. I had my most recent attack last night, it was really bad, I was really mean to Trevor. After he had got me calmed down I told him what I need as a mom, wife, student, 19 yr old, employee and female. He listened. This morning I went and worked out while him and Ryland slept. Then I went to the water front to observe everything go has blessed me with and I prayed, I cried out to God to forgive me for my sins and lead me down the path he wants me to go. Then I read the bible about how the temple of God was rebuilt and it showed me what kind of faith I need to have in God to have a great relationship with him. Then tonight when I went to work a friend of mine says the doctor thinks she has cervical cancer. She has no medical and is broke (can not pay rent or anything) because of the stupid medical tests. My mom had cervical cancer and I was so scared for her, I love my mama and I did not want anything to harm her! I don't want anything to take my friend away either, and the cancer may not just be cervical. I am going to pray for her nerves and her strength to get through this and to remember that God is walking with her, I am praying for the doctors to figure out what is wrong so she can afford herself again, I am praying that she have patients and for everyone around her   to take to this well. I am frightened when I hear the word cancer, I know everything happens for a reason and I hope that she does too.

osama bin laden

Really? This new topic that is going to go on forever is annoying. It is just another dead almost Hitler. yay. Also if another person says anything about Obama being the only one who led us to justice I will punch them.
In the face.
Twice.

Other than that...

today was okay. Ryland was a bit of a trouble maker this morning but it was sooo hard not to laugh at him!

The female: a hazard to herself? maybe.

Honestly I just want to give up on everything. I have no idea what my problem is but I have just been angry and wanting to cry. I need a vacation, a doctor, a good hardcore daily work out, I cannot take any of this anymore. School, working, working out, Ryland, Trevor, family, cleaning and me. It has all become too much. 

• My house is always messy and gross because I just don't care enough to clean it because I am always trying to study or work. 
• I do not have time to work out as often as I used to and I absolutely hate my body.
•  I have to go to school for many reasons. My son needs a great roll model and my family needs a better future. I have to prove I am smart because I am ditzy and blonde and people think I am stupid when I am not. It is societies ideas that young mothers/wives don't go to college and just be homemakers. I have to be the difference. 
• I have to work to pay the bills but all the drama and old people acting like they are 12 is pushing me away from it, I want to love my job and I used too but now I cannot wait to get off.  . 
• I have no patience for anything but Ryland. I hate customers at work because of the way they treat myself and coworkers. I am barely tolerant of my fuckin neighbors in this apartment complex. I hate admitting that it's too much! It makes me feel weak.
• I also have an ingrown toenail like really bad and I have not seen an ob/gyn since I have had ry. This makes me cry. 
• I also would like to go to church EVERY SUNDAY.

This blog is not a complaint, here are the positives:

• I have an amazing beautiful son!
• I have a husband who treats me right!
• I have free baby sitters!
• I have at least partial support of my family!
• I have a home and a job!
• I can go to college!
• I have a truck!
• I pay for everything I've got (minus phone bill and part of college)!
• I live somewhere where I know my child at least gets free state medical when needed!
• I live somewhere where major comunicatable diseases are not.
• I am physically able to do everything.
• I have freedom of religion.
• I have a roof over my family's head and clothes on our back! 
• I can afford gas! 

See? Not a complaint, just me stating how so badly I need a break. Not from my child like most people said I would before I had him. I need a break from being treated like crap by stupid customers, I need a break from homework and fear of failing, I need to get away from my messy apartment. It needs to be long enough to find a family doctor and medical insurance and still have fun and make memories. Too bad it cannot happen any time soon. I am trapped inside my head as long as I live like this which has proven to be a bad thing in the past. I just need a break :(

life update

Trevor is telling me how I was crying over him fighting with drum auger in his dream aahahaha.. anyway... I am posting this update to share some news: yesterday the army recruiter called and said Trevor can go to meps next week YAYY! It is going to be a big change for everyone! I have decided that after this quarter at OC I am done there until I get my personal training certificate then I am going to be done with Dominos and I will go back to OC when my family and I are ready for that. I have my first math test for this quarter on Wednesday and I have decided to change my study schedule. Trevor has gone back and forth on his weight and he has changed up his work out schedule so he can get in to the Army. I am sooo thankful for his help and love and kindness and support. He is amazing! Ryland is 9 months old on Saturday. He stands on his own every now and then. He also tries to talk. He gives me 'i am a goofball' faces, he eats everything, and bounces when he is happy which is almost constant. He does not verbally say anything yet but he shakes and nods his head when he has choices. My life is looking so perfect right now, we definitely have our rough moments but I would not change anything!

A new page

Gahh Ryland's new cough is driving me batty, but after is doctor appointment today I found it is nothing to really worry about. I got up with a hang over type head ache and a screaming baby. Then I got a text from the boss man, then I HAD to get up... ha. so i worked for like 2.5 hours then went home and changed into cute spring dress and went to Ryland's apt.. which actually gave me a real answer so that was good but we were there for and hour then went and picked up my sis to take her to my mom at her work.. Traffic was sooo BAD! We did not get to the office til 330 ish and I was rushing for work which was ... eh.. haha im just glad my baby boy is ok and i mad mucho mula today =]

BOO! =[

I want everyone in my family to get along. On both sides. Life is too short to be angery all the time or hurting someone all the time.

• My mama's having nerve problems, I wish I could help.
• My granny in law has been sick off and on and just got better, I wish I could help.
• Ryland is sicky and theres nothing docs can do because he is little, I feel like they don't give a shit.
• Brittany, my co-worker and really great friend is trying to find her purpose in life and her mom's boyfriend had a heart attack, I wan make it better.
• Trevor's process for the military is rediculus, we need medical.
• My friends baby is like 1 month old and is in the hospital and I wish I could help. They don't know whats wrong.
• Carissa is having family issues that I wish I could make perfect too.. 
• vita is doing well but i kinda want her back.

I really have no idea what to do about anything. I am just going to pray and keep the faith and do what I can do. I am not complaining im just finding an out... without crying nutty.

My DAY

I got up at 745 to a coughing, babbling, and very tired happy boy. He stayed up for a lil while but showed that he was still really tired. So after a bottle and diaper change he went back to bed. We all slept until 1030am and I was woken up by two beautiful baby blue eyes right in my face! ♥ Perfect way to wake up :) I made Ryland breakfast and ate mine while Trevor fed him the first half of the jar. Then, I fed him the second part of the jar while Trevor ate and then we all got ready to go to Bremerton and get my gym stuff from OC. I LOVE OUR TEAM WORK :)

On the way to OC we got coffee and it was not good =/ this was not the worse part of my day. When I left the gym a nice gentleman held the door open... its nice to know my husband is not the only one...

On the way home from OC, on the high way in the s curves, some dumbass in a HUGE brown van decided to turn the corner. We switched lanes legally (SMOG) the white care behind the van slowed way down so we legally got over again (SMOG), the brown van was still in the middle lane in the s curve!!! while we were in the 3rd lane already, this is when van decided to turn from the MIDDLE lane!! He did not get over he just turned last minute and was sooooo fucking close to hitting us! Trevor was driving and thank GOD my brakes are awesome because TURNING ON THE HIGH WAY AT LAST MINUTE IN THE S CURVES is not fucking the smartest move. Trevor SLAMMED on the brakes and my truck skidded to a stop while the van carelessly blew the stop sign at his turn and almost hit another car after his turn. I hope that guy gets a HUGE fucking ticket and a few months in jail. So help me, had he hit the truck out of stupidity with my baby in the car I would have murdered him.

All day Ryland has had a cough and a runny nose and a temper. He has not taken much of a nap but he needs it. So I put him to bed early. I hope that tonight goes well and that he feels better in the morning.

The Life of US.

Figured out my organized mess

I want to be a great mom and wife. I want a relationship with God and Jesus. I want to be a personal trainer. I have no idea why I am going to OC, so I am going to go through spring quarter at OC and pennfoster... all my classes are going to be online so I can stay home with Ryland most of the time. I am going to take summer off from oc and finish getting my certificate for personal training and celebrate Ryland's first brithday =] Also, we will make it a habit to go to church every sunday.Then in the fall I am going to continue with personal training and see where it takes my little family. In the mean time Trevor will be in the Army and Ryland will be my right hand man! I will go back to OC when I need to. I la la love my little family and I think I finally figured out what we need!

change

I complain about the way I look, my house being a mess and not doing as well in college as I was. I always plan to make everything better but it almost never works i never seem to find a happy mediummm BLAAAAH

today

Today I did something really immature and something that isn't me. Today I started drama about a girl because she could not keep her mouth shut. I was so angry so I made her feel bad by asking a very mean question... I think it was some what funny but it was not my place to make her feel bad because she made me mad. There is always a reason for everything so no matter what it is she is going through to make her cause shit i should be forgiving of her. I am going to apologize if i see her. Tomorrow i will make it right.


Today I stood strong even if it was hard. I listen to so many people's stories and some times it just kills me inside but i know to help them they need to talk. Tomorrow i will understand. 


Today I made major decisions for myself and my family. I need to stop with the bullshit when I have time to study and do homework, just do it. when I'm at work show what I've got . While I am at home spend time with my husband and my son. Tomorrow I will have faith in me.


Today I learned what love is. Tomorrow I will start showing it ♥

Stay at home mom

I never thought it was for me. I am working on my patience, I am young, afraid that I will loose myself, afraid my baby boy will be too attached, and I am afraid I wont accomplish anything. I feel bad for saying that because my house will be clean, my baby and husband will be happy so I guess I will be accomplishing things. School can wait until later but how do I not loose myself? All these reasons to not be a stay at home mommy but just as equally amount of reason's to be a stay at home mommy.

A new change

I love being a new mom so much! My son is so amazing! he is around 15 lbs and around 2ft tall. He is seven months old and drooly and has 3 teeth workin on number 4. He has dark blonde redish brownish hair. Ryland has one hell of an attitude. He crawls,attempts to stand, chews on everything, yells if he isn't being held haha, and he has the sweetest laugh! I love him so much! I had so many psycho issues with hormones for the last several months it is insane! I also have been paranoid about being pregnant again and what people thought of me actually started bugging me. I have never been one to care about what others think of me, until I got pregnant. But my hormones have calmed down and I no longer give a shit. But right after having ryland we moved out of Trevor's (husband) parent's house into our first apartment. Everything changed. Now everything is a mess, all we do is work and spend time together as the little trio we are. This change brought me closer to God because I constantly worry about my little family's health and financial stuff and love. So in the last seven months... I've started 2 different colleges, had a baby, got my own apartment with my high school love (my husband), and I work a ton. I love my life and I would not change any of it. I love this new change. Just something to start with...

First Blog

I have never done this before so bare with me here. I want to start a blog to write down thoughts and personal opinions and get insight from other people. It seems like it would be a good place to vent, ask questions, and make general conversations... and i have no idea why my blog says ryland just FYI ha