new relationship

I am on my period and hormones are going crazy. I love my husband very much, like no one would ever understand! On Saturday a couple we know told Trevor that they are swingers and have been for a while. The man in this relationship told Trevor that he brought home 4 females the other day. When I asked Trevor why a married man of his stature tell him this now... He says 'I don't know probably to brag.' I was very offended by that statement. Why is a married man 'bragging' to another married man about having many other different women in his bed? This made me very curious so I looked up info on swingers and why. Looking that up just bothered me. I am Christian and it is wrong to be doing this in God's eyes. So, therefore, it is wrong in my eyes. But this just made me non stop make me think about sex... like how I used to be in high school. It was pathetic. Then I met a guy, who is in the Army, he gave me his number and we began sexual things.. but not sex. I feel so fuckin dumb and horrible. I told Trevor, I felt like shit, but he just looked at me in the eyes and said it was okay. He forgave me just like that! He said he was not going to let something that small ruin us. I was also hating myself because I did not want God to send me to hell, because in the bible it is cheating. The next day we went through just fine, but I still hated what I did. Then that night we discussed what sexual desires each other had and we some how decided pretty much to be single for the next three weeks. Thinking about it made me sick, I was dry heaving, sweating, getting dizzy, and when I went and saw Trevor today at walmart I was just crying and told him that we cannot do that. It is not okay and I could not stand the thought of anyone getting in between us. He said that it was okay and we did not have to at all, he said he would not want to hurt us at all. In between all this I felt like all he was thinking of was about the 'bragging.' I hated the thought of him wanting to be able to do that and be married even though he said he did not. Trevor says he was not thinking about that and he would never do anything like that. I have been doing a lot of not okay sexual relationship things because of this fear. I have been a horrible, sluty, piece of crap. I want God to forgive me and I have asked.   Trevor forgave me in a blink of an eye, he said God will too, and he just loved me. I love that man with everything I have and I hope I can be as forgiving as him with anyone in my life. I am terribly sorry for what I did. I realize it was wrong and hurtful for many people. It probably does not make since to you, and you are probably going to judge us and say a lot of bad things. The only person who's opinion matters is Gods and this is my way of saying sorry. I feel stupid, immature, whorish, and like I do not deserve what I have. It is interesting to see what you may have to say or what you feel about God and marriage though. feel free..